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The Ryan (mouth) express I honestly can't imagine there being a more bizarre-looking individual in professional sports.
Frankly, just looking at him is captivating. I remember watching Oakland Raider or Cleveland Brown games and wondering who that odd-looking guy was on the sidelines.
He's grotesque. His bulbuous belly resembles an impregnanted womb or someone with a very large tumor. He's not fat in the same way that other people are fat (for one, he's unapologetic about his weight). More than anything, it looks like he's wearing one of those vests that high school girls wear to simulate a pregnancy. It looks unreal.
His face looks young and fresh. He has an intoxicating smile and if you just shaved all the hair off, he'd look vibrant and young.
However, he has hair. A lot of it. Needless to say, it looks fake -- like he lopped off a lion's mane and strapped it on top of his noggin. It's not a wig, but never have I seen anyone with real hair that it looked so stinking fake.
I sound rude and whatnot, but I don't care. I'm safe and sound in my mother's basement. But I refuse to believe that I'm the only person thinking all of this.
Ryan, however, isn't making news due to his looks. It's mostly his mouth.
Ryan took a shot at the Philadelphia Eagles the other day calling them the "all-hype" team and guaranteeing a victory.
Here's the thing: Why the Eagles are in anyone's sights is a mystery. The Eagles took it to the Cowboys last year and all Philadelphia's done is get better while the Cowboys have remained static.
The Eagles didn't mark particularly high-profile additions. Noteworthy, yes. But they went out and got secondary help and defensive line help. This is not the Miami Heat here.
Still, Ryan is a mouthy son of a bitch anyway. It didn't matter what the Eagles or Giants did or didn't do, he was still going to mouth off.
Apparently, Jason Garrett "talked" to Ryan and the defensive coordinator wound up avoiding the press yesterday.
If the question is whether Ryan is good for the Dallas Cowboys, the answer lies in whether the defense is going to be any good and if the Cowboys are going to win.
Ryan's cocky and thinks he's going to fix whatever is wrong. Wade Phillips thought the same thing. The difference is that Phillips never attracted more attention than he really wanted and Ryan is open to all the spotlight that he can get.
If the Cowboys go 6-10 with the 20th-ranked defense, Ryan (and the Cowboys) will look incredibly dumb. Ten wins, a playoff spot and a top-10 defense changes everything.
Ryan's mouth doesn't matter. Neither does his belly or mane. Winning matters.
I thought Jason Terry was a loudmouth nobody. I might still think that. However, he has a ring and I don't. He can mouth off as much as he likes now.
I do think a team needs edge. In hockey, edge is part of the game. For the Mavericks, you needed Tyson Chandler and Terry to get in grills and mouth off. In baseball, having the ice-veined closer or the hotshot starter matters.
The Cowboys dumped the nice-guy attitude when Phillips went out the door. The Cowboys need Ryan and his attitude as much as they need the Xs and Os.
Is Ryan good for the Cowboys? As a football fan, he's good for me. Trust me, the media's loving him.
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