C.J. Wilson might be a douchebag, but he's our douchebag

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Club Douche

For whatever reason, Texas Rangers "pitcher" C.J. Wilson was featured in Bon Appétit magazine. They basically ran photos of some food that he made. And then they had quotes from him.

It's easy to consider Wilson a complete douchebag. I don't deny this. This article doesn't help.

Now if he can get Kelly Shoppach out, we're set.

The seven douchiest quotes from Ceej:

"I think I have a sophisticated palate because I'm adventurous."
Let me guess: If professional baseball, photography or car racing hadn't worked out, you could've been a cook.

"Not to be too sleazy, but I always offer to cook a girl breakfast."
"You know, after I bang all those chicks!"

"My personal chef, Aaron Elliot, is a health nut, though, so he's always shoving complex carbs and antioxidants down my throat."
What personal chef isn't, to a point, a "health nut?" Why would you hire a personal chef that just drove to Taco Bell to buy chalupas? And as if we're supposed to know who "Aaron Elliot" is.

"And I dig it."
Barf.

"Being a Southern California guy, I love Mexican food, and I was craving a good tortilla soup for lunch the other day."
Note to Angels: Get Wilson some cheese-less quesadillas at your next meeting.

"Aaron is what I like to call a vegaquarian, so I've had to help him learn to cook meat because I need my protein. He's a quick study."
No doubt that Aaron Elliot thinks Wilson is a douche. If Elliot isn't a douche too.

"About nine months ago, I cut dairy out of my diet. I felt like I was having some digestive issues, and wasn't as sharply focused as I should have been."
Wilson must've had a milkshake before game 1.

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