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The saddest day in the history of Dallas media

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Where's Grubes at?
Yesterday, Michael "Grubes" Gruber announced that he was leaving The Ticket, Dallas-Fort Worth's leading sports talk radio station in early April.

It is probably the biggest loss to The Ticket after years of guys moving on or getting canned. All of this for a board operator.

He's not an on-air personality. He doesn't have thought-provoking or moving opinions about society or sports. He doesn't even tell funny jokes.

Instead, he makes sure that microphone levels are adequate and that things are plugged in and queues up commercial spots.

Yet, no one's had a greater impact on the popularity of The Ticket nor has anyone quite affected the vernacular of The Ticket's wide audience like lil' trollish Grubes.

Danny Balis, producer of The Hardline, said it would be a bigger loss than when Greg "The Hammer" Williams was lost due to his drug addiction and alienation from the rest of the show and station. Balis couldn't be more right.

Many guys can do what The Hammer does. Or what Gordon Keith, Junior Miller or Dan McDowell do (and all of those guys would be huge losses should they decide to make a suicide pact). Time moves on for most personalities.

Through the use of "drops" and the even more significant timing of played "drops," Grubes has carved himself a niche in the industry. "Drop artist" is a bit of a tongue-in-cheek joke for just a guy playing fake fart sounds. Grubes isn't just a guy that cuts up audio for half-second snippets of someone saying "weiner." He has what most prospective comedians would kill to have: Timing.

The drops are funny. The drops within context of a difference conversation, split-second non sequiturs, makes them side-splittingly hilarious. They derail whole segments and have an immediate life of several weeks until they play themselves out of rotation, only to be found again three months or three years later.

Sports talk guys always say that what they do may seem easy, but it isn't. What Gruber does is definitely not easy. Although it's probably a whole hell of a lot of fun.

Fact is, Gruber may love playing fart "drops" and could probably do it for an indefinite amount of time. But in the back of his head, he knows that there's another lifetime to consider. He's 26 years old and has spent a decade at a radio station with thoughts on NASCAR, that laugh and giving Norm Hitzges sponge baths. He knows that he has to make a move.

Our lives will not be the same.
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